i don't know what the hell to journal about. i think I should actually start keeping a journal that way I could let out some stuff and, i don't know. i feel like a ball of feelings and i need to explode, but i don't know who to. i've already told a friend about a nightmare which i sorta wish i hadn't even though it felt good to get it out. i don't think i even really know how i feel or what i want anyone to know. there was one person i think i would tell almost anything to, but she's gone. she knows at least one thing if not more. the one thing i've never kept secret was how i feel about my dad. that ass cheated on my mom, i don't care what she says, i don't think i can EVER forgive him for that. i love him but i hate him. i've even ranted about him to a teacher but she had to leave the school because there wasn't enough money to keep her, and then they go hire a bunch more, like seriously wtf... I don't know if i should even post this. i drew a picture and wrote a poem earlier, i don't know if i really want anyone to see it, but i'll probably post it anyways. i'm tired, i miss my friends the ones that have moved and the ones i only ever see at school. some of them are in the city, and some don't check their phones. i think i'm gonna cry. i'm sick of this fuckin room. its not like i'm alone here, we're just all doin our own things. because of all the people on my facebook, i never really put how i feel when i feel bad, so it either goes on here or twitter. for not knowing what to put, i sure did get a lot. the problem with writing things down, is that people might read it, the last journal i had i burned and that one was for school. i gotta start writing things down, if i don't i just might explode. though writing some of the poetry i do does help, but thats usually when i don't know what else to do and i just make it up without thinkin.